I Hate Grocery Shopping
Posted by harlan on 17 Jan 2008 at 12:46 pm | Tagged as: talking to the void
My fridge is almost always empty. That means I mostly get my food from drive-through windows, because I don’t like sitting alone in restaurants.
But I don’t want to talk about restaurants right now. I want to talk about why my fridge is almost always empty.
It’s because I hate grocery shopping.
When you’re rolling through the aisles, filling up your cart, everyone can see what you’ve got. "Oh, look, he hasn’t bought any fresh produce at all." Or "Does he really need that many boxes of breakfast cereal?"
When you’re in a grocery store, everyone can tell you’re buying just for yourself — the amount of stuff you buy that’s perishable, the massive skewing toward packaged, prepared food instead of ingredients to make something yourself.
And then when you’re at the checkout stand, the person scanning the food looks at everything one item at a time, building a more-or-less complete picture of who you are and what you’ll be doing for the next week or so.
It’s as invasive as hell.
Isolation Score: 7
Especially when you need Doritos, whipped cream and condoms.
especially when you only get a tub of vasoline, a 12 pack of paper towels and gerbil food.
Harlan, why do you think everyone is so focused on you? Don’t you think that is selfish? People really have better things to do than to worry about what groceries you buy or don’t buy. No one cares. Maybe you wouldn’t feel so depressed if you didn’t eat so shitty too.
Judi’s got a point and I’m pretty certain that if you read more F. Herbert, you’d feel better, too.
Hell Harlan, those people at the grocery stores probably eat worse shit than that. Don’t be so paranoid. Just act like you don’t give a shit what others think and you’ll be fine.
I used to feel the same way going to the porn store. Thank God for the internet.
Hey,
Learn to cook! There’s only you. Try cooking what you like. If nothing else it’s something to do. There are lots of recipies on line to try. It can be genuinely enjoyable to shop for fresh produce.
Order your groceries online and have them delivered. ;)
Wouldn’t the guy at the fast food window be thinking the same kinds of thoughts?
Actually, If I were the cashier in both situations, I’d think better of someone buying 12 boxes of cereal (oh, his kids must really like that cereal or….I bet he’s doing a fundraiser or craft project or something) than some guy driving through a fast food window asking for 6 cheeseburgers. (Really, there’s just no excuse unless you’re carting around a truckload of kids who’ve just finished 12 hours of soccer practice)
And do your supermarkets have self checkout lanes?
We have automated checkouts where I live (a small city in Canada). You scan/weigh it all yourself and swipe your own debit card. You’d like it!
I remember one time a few years ago (before the auto-checkouts) I bought 2 items: A cucumber (because i was making sushi for a potluck at work the next day and I forgot about the vegetarians) and small jar of vasoline (because i get really dry skin in the winter). I didn’t even consider what THAT looked like until after i got home. I am embarrassed just thinking about it.
Most of the time I hate grocery shopping too. I deal by visiting often just for a hand basket worth of items. The self checkout line is my salvation.
I found a grocery store where I can order nearly everything online and have it delivered the next day. Only one person to deal with, and that’s just for the signature. Brilliant.
why don’t you capitalize on the discomfort by forcing yourself to buy healthy food?
Harlan,
I arrived through Fat Cyclist (whose hip bone is connected to the thigh bone of Pioneer Woman) as it happens in the blogscape. I like your writing…
As for the hatred of grocery shopping, my fear is that others will think I am domestic if I’m pushing a full cart.
Keep writing, pondering, and shopping.
Go here :
http://thepioneerwomancooks.com/
Make a list :
butter,
lots of chicken legs,
french bread,
thyme
lemon jc
spices
salad or veggies
Cook up a whole bunch of legs then eat a few. Refrigerate some for leftovers then freeze the rest. Or feed everyone at work. or both….or cook for your sister.
Want dessert or roast :
http://thepioneerwomancooks.com/page/2
make a list
bake
When you cook, cook big, then freeze. You’ll be sooo excited with these easy creations you won’t mind shopping.
Most people are so busy they don’t have time to analyze what is in another persons cart. I can guarantee our food bill & shopping cart items are larger than yours. We feed 5 & I am the only female.
Bob- your cucumber/vasoline story just made me spit out my soda. LOL.
Harlan- grocery delivery. It’s so wonderful.
That made me spit out my soda. I am SURE the cashiers are judging me. Especially when I have my kids with me. And I have any junk food…they’re completely and totally thinking I’m a shitting mother.
Just found your blog. Digging it already.
I hate shopping for one, cooking for one and eating alone. My fridge is empty and I’m starving. I have only eaten one bagel all day. It’s too cold to go outside. -18 celsius (around zero fahrenheit). I like this isolation score thing. I’m going with a 7 today as well.
I wasn’t going to chime in, but this post struck me. I found your site from the bloggie awards and I really like your writing. I sort of identify with some of your feelings. And I used to work as a grocery store checker. Seriously after seeing hundreds of people go through my line, I couldn’t care less what they were buying. I was thinking about school, or what I was doing after work, and the motion of pulling groceries through, making sure I heard the beep, and then throwing whatever in a bag became a blur. I only ever paid attention when the customer was obviously embarrassed about their purchases, like the woman who tried so hard to conceal a douche amidst a bunch of fresh produce and some magazines. So she bought a douche. Who am I to judge a person’s hygiene choices? You shouldn’t worry so much about what the people behind the check stand think of you. They’ve forgotten your face and your purchases thirty seconds after you’ve left their stand and they are on to the next customer. That is unless you do something memorable like sling verbal abuses at customers and rub your icky naked breasts against the window as security throws you out, which happened last night while I was purchasing stuff to make dinner. You don’t have breasts though, so I guess that attention grabbing technique is out. Anyway, I try to remember this when I’m buying champagne, spinach dip, and a giant bag of chips at two in the morning while already visibly intoxicated. I live in a large city though. That’s not outside the norm. You should just go to the store, buy what you want, and try not to worry about it. Hopefully the knowledge that the person behind the counter doesn’t care who you are or what you buy doesn’t make you feel more isolated, but a little more secure that it really doesn’t matter what’s in your cart.